So if you haven’t heard by now our little family of three will be increased to a little family of four in February/March 2016.
And while this is a super exciting time for our family, please don’t take this post as an “unexcited to be expecting a baby” type post, I’m just so very afraid of the weight gain. I KNOW weight gain is inevitable and very necessary during pregnancy but it still doesn’t ease my mind. When I became pregnant with Zachary in 2007 I was 230/235 pounds at CONCEPTION and watched the scale travel all the way to 275/280 as I happily ate anything and everything in my path, didn’t do any physical activity outside of the little bit my then job required which was walking and trust me it was not a lot and somewhere deep inside I KNEW I was headed for trouble but I just kept telling myself “It’s ok to eat this because I’m pregnant” and “I’ll lose it all right after he’s born” and other fun lies we tell ourselves. I didn’t “look” pregnant until I was 8 months and that was the worst part and one of my fears this time around. I did go on to lose the weight eventually, hence the birth of Girl Gone Healthy, but I don’t want to be in that miserable, uncomfortable, depressed space ever again.
I’m nowhere near that now for a starting weight BUT I did put some weight on once I stopped birth control, yes I’m one of those weirdo people who need birth control (mostly the hormones) to help keep my weight in check. We have been trying since October 2014 and in that time I put on about 15 pounds and then took it back off and then my back went out in May and I had to stop running and about 10 of those pounds seemed to creep back on and then I found out I was expecting……. it just made me so angry at myself for not being at my lowest/comfortable weight when we finally conceived. I find myself staring at myself in the mirror throughout the day just horrified that no one will know I’m pregnant they’ll just think I became lazy and gained weight until that 8 month mark like I experienced with Zac.
So how can I snap myself out of it? How can I make it through this pregnancy with happiness and enjoyment and the mind-set that there is NOTHING I can do about some weight gain, trust me I asked my Dr apparently NO ONE is immune to weight gain during pregnancy, and she gave me this handy little photo followed by “you may not gain the full amount but I’m sure it will be close.”
I have been craving salads, protein like steak-chicken-turkey-nuts-peanut butter, I haven’t had any coffee with the exception of decaf, I increased my water in take, I’m taking vitamins, I limit sweets but I’ve still had some on occasion, I have been eating fruit, I’m exercising daily walking a minimum of 30 minutes everyday (the amount of time varies according to my morning/night sickness)….. and as I looked up at her I began to smile as I realized I’m already in such a better place this time around. I did NONE of that (except the vitamins) with Zac I just need to reign in the emotion and keep doing it this way. Have I eaten things I “shouldn’t”? You betcha! I had a weekend where all I wanted was white carbs like bread, pasta, pizza, all the comfort type foods and I was absolutely miserable after eating them. I have been craving blue berry pancakes 24/7 for about a week now and I have a total of 4 in that time, 2 each serving, and I haven’t felt guilty but satisfied.
This new part of the journey isn’t what I expected and I have to say it is going to be tough but it will be worth it in the end. I think I’m just hoping the “pregnancy look” happens this time, I don’t think that’s too much to ask for ;-).
For those of you who have experienced weight loss and pregnancy, whether it was before-during-after, how did you cope with the weight gain? Share your stories in the comments below! Thanks for indulging in my rant and I hope you can all appreciate my honesty as that’s something I’ve always tried to be with all of you, honest.
Healthy Wishes, T