Confessions of a Fat Girl

I’m just going to get right to the point, I have been the opposite of Girl Gone Healthy for several months now. I’ve been eating horribly, not posting, and I’ve been just plain miserable.

I’m an attention lover and while I was on my weight loss journey from Dec 2008 to Dec 2009 I was constantly being told how great I looked, how amazing I was doing, how inspiring I was etc etc….fast forward to August 2010 when I didn’t make Food Network my whole world sort of crumbled. I lost weight to live a healthy life for my family and to be around for my son, but I’m going to put it out there I lost weight because I was tired of being GIGANTIC and I knew I would never get anywhere in life or any job I would really love being 5’2″ and weighing in at 265. But once that weight was gone and I wasn’t losing anything I became extremely frustrated and I have been for a long long time.

Now I’ve done my research and I know that muscle weighs more than fat and I’ve been lifting 3 to 5 days every week for over a year so I know the scale will show me at a heavier weight, all of my clothes still fit but I don’t feel good. And when you bust your ass working out and teaching high intensity cardio classes 4 days a week and the scale just sits at the same number or adds 5 pounds I don’t care who you are that SUCKS!

Enter bad eating habits, drinking beers, drinking wine, baking again etc etc why the Hell should I eat like a rabbit and bust my hump just for the scale to not move and feel bigger?

Well today I decided to start Couch 2 5K

And it was just what I needed! I haven’t been on a dedicated run in months and I felt amazing! Like the old me, the one who had a fire, the one who started GGH to help others and inspire- the one who lost 100 pounds and was proud of herself.

As the coach talked me through my run my mind cleared, my body actually relaxed and I felt at peace. All of the events that have happened over the past 2 years seemed to drift off my shoulders, and I finally felt OK. Just as I was nearing the end of my run/walk my all time fave running song came on and I just went for it, Eminem {Till I Collapse}.

When I hear this come on in my ears I blast it and I feel like he’s saying exactly how I feel. Below are my favorite verses.

‘Cause sometimes you feel tired,
feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.
Until the roof
The roof comes off
Until my legs
give out from underneath me
I will not fall,
I will stand tall,
Feels like no one could beat me.

And after it was all done I clicked over to run keeper and saw that I had gone over 2 miles. My time wasn’t great but I felt accomplished and that’s more important.

I’m going to start posting again and I’m not going to worry about how many blog hits I receive, or how big of a giveaway I need to do to keep up with the others in our community, I’m going to post because I started this as a way to vent and say what I was feeling because someone else out there was probably feeling it too. I’m going to go back to my roots and not worry about my food pictures being shot with a Nikon and I’m not going to stress if I don’t have a recipe to post every time.

So for those of you who were with me in the beginning I hope you’re still here, and if you are then I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The vacation was nice at first but it’s time for Girl Getting Fat Again to say buh bye and for Girl Gone Healthy to come back!

Here’s an awesome little lunch I whipped up today.

Chunky Chicken Salad:








2 boneless chicken breast cubed

lemon juice

1/4 cup grapes cut in half

1 small apple diced

1 1/2 tablespoons of vegan mayo

black pepper

big handful of mixed green salad


In a sautee pan coated with cooking spray saute your chicken and lemon juice (juice of 1 lemon), once chicken is cooked set aside to cool.

In a mixing bowl combine your grapes, diced apple, and mayo- mix slightly. Then add chicken to the bowl and toss allowing mayo to coat chicken as well.

Place chicken salad over mixed greens and top with cracked black pepper, Enjoy.







So good!!!

Healthy Wishes, T

Please take a minute to visit and cast your vote for me to be the next Rhode Show co host simply by watching the video in it’s entirety! Thank you

4 thoughts on “Confessions of a Fat Girl”

  • I’ve been getting into fat girl mode every other week!! If I go away one weekend, or skip a few days at the gym, or eat a few fatty but wonderfully tasty meals in a row, it’s back downhill… it’s easy for me to get inspired.. but it usually only lasts until the next time I have a few unhealthy days. The joys of being a busy adult! Thanks for the article!

  • We’ve all been there! Sometimes I feel like such a hypocrite during those weeks when I just am not the healthiest I can be, especially when I realize that it’s all because of my own stupid choices. But, we all get there and the tough ones get out! I’ve been fat and I’ve been fit and fit is better! Congrats for getting back on the horse and don’t let that scale boss you around. 🙂

  • My God we’re like twins. Number 1…when I am working out I listen to eminem…current favorite…till I collapse…I like the left right left in the beginning because it reminds me of when I was in the army…that and the whole spiel about sometimes you feel too tired to go on…and sometimes that is how weight loss feels to me…endless. I too lost motivation in the last nine months. Still working out, but myeating was for crap…I am currently sitting at 158. I too am remotivated…mostly because I have this pair of pants in a six and I really, really want to fit into them. I have never in my known memory been a six, I am getting old and I want to look hot…even if for just a year or so. Good luck to you. Good luck to me. We can do this.

  • You don’t know how much I needed this today! I lost 35lbs over the last year and have been in a slump for the last 6 months. I was just thinking about starting this running program and your post gave me the kick I needed to go and do it tonight. Thank you!!!

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