Which Way Now?

I’ve sat down in front of my computer so many times over the course of the past few months and as I tap out the same ol bullshit type posts with tears of frustration in my eyes I just end up hitting delete. Why you might ask, and if you’re not asking then you should probably just go on ahead and stop reading…. go ahead move along because you’re probably the reason I’ve been hitting delete.

I have had the “pleasure” of being Girl Gone Healthy since the Summer of 2009 back when blogging was relatively still a novelty and there weren’t 1 million weight loss/health/fitness blogs, back when you typed Girl Gone Healthy into google and I was the ONLY one that came up and now there seems to be Girls Gone Healthy, Girl Gone Healthier, Girl Gone pretty much anything you can think of and while in one breath that makes me so mad in the other I look at my life now and I’m not the same Girl Gone Healthy AT ALL. My goals aren’t anywhere near what they were in 2009, not even close. I used to log on and simply write about my day with Zac, my work outs (those used to happen a lot more often), what I was eating or recipes I discovered and it was really like a daily journal for ME and not so much anyone else. Eventually I ended up joining Fit World and landed my first Partnership as Girl Gone Healthy and my blog took off because Jordan Knight of New Kids On The Block owned the gym so with him Tweeting about me and Following me I gained quite the audience, I had to step up my game. As my weight continued to go down I started putting myself out there even more. There was an audition for The Food Network, making the Top 5 for The Rhode Show, running races like 10k’s and 1/2 marathons, partnerships with more brands/doctor’s offices/businesses and all the while my weight was all over the place and I was chasing numbers. Numbers on the scale, number of views, number of Followers….NUMBERS NUMBERS NUMBERS.

The number chasing was making me so angry and hurt as I began losing Followers, failing to keep partnerships due to not being what they “wanted/needed” any longer because I couldn’t produce NUMBERS, chasing my audience and seeing my NUMBERS plummet when I posted about my family, my weight being all over the place but not quite where you all wanted it or needed it to be, my son’s Autism, my pregnancy and then birth of my daughter followed by the news of her being completely deaf and her journey to Cochlear Implants…..

My audience wasn’t “happy” unless I was posting about losing weight and while right now I have baby weight to lose that’s NOT my entire life. I 100% understand that the premise of this site, my social media etc is/was weight loss but that’s not whats at the forefront of my life right now. Right now my life is my baby girl and my son, both Special Needs in different ways.

 My life is finding balance and it’s not easy. I can’t just drop everything and go to the gym- I go late at night or weekend mornings when I can. I can’t just head out for a 3,4,5 mile run when ever- instead I go walk at the mall in the morning’s after school drop off with Harper when I can. I can’t sit here and type out how great my day was and how I’ve lost 15 pounds in a month and how I’ve been eating perfectly and blah blah blah bullshit blah….. That’s not me right now.

 

So where do I go from here?

Do I continue to log on and get angry over NUMBERS? Do I continue to stress myself out as I watch my Facebook “Likes” drop by the large handfuls EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.? Do I just give up and let Girl Gone Healthy go, stop paying the money each month for security/hosting/my domain name….. I guess it all depends on YOU.

I can’t sit here and say that I won’t post about my family. I can’t sit here and say that every post will be this wonderful sunshine filled/uplifting/motivational post because I’d be lying. I can’t sit here and say that I work out 7 days a week and I eat perfect and I track all of my meals because again I’d be lying.

But what I can say is that I can promise to post about my life, my REAL life. I want to share products that I actually LIKE with all of you whether it’s for myself or maybe for my kids, my house, my husband etc. I can promise to post about the up’s the down’s the in between’s, the great on track work out and eating awesome days and the days that I went without eating until after 3pm because that’s just how the day is going. I can promise to still be here to support you, to understand, to GET IT because I do I really fucking do get it. I can promise to let you all in, to show you me and show you “behind the curtain” because I think I need to and because I think you all need it too.

So these are my options….. do I just let the past 7 1/2 years go and hang it up or do we change focus and keep going? I have until the end of the month to decide since that’s when I have to shell out the money to keep everything going website wise and if the website goes do I even keep my Facebook, Twitter, etc…..

If you’re still reading then tell me what you think by commenting here or on FB because if no one cares then I guess I’ll just walk away.

 

-Tera

 

 

 

 

 

19 comments for “Which Way Now?

  1. Renee Murray
    February 22, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    I’m another Half Size Me member who just found you via an older podcast. So sorry for the rough blows life has dealt you lately. Follow your heart. remember why you started this. If it wasn’t to get numbers, don’t look at them. Your interview with Heather inspired me to come and look. I look forward to checking out your recipes. If you started this to reach people, you are. Sending you strength.

  2. February 14, 2017 at 11:55 am

    Tera, You still influence women daily! Real life is what it’s all about. Not pretending everything is perfect and roses. Sometimes goals take longer to achieve and sometimes life IS hard, and that’s what is real. Even if it is inspiration to mom’s with special needs kids, you still help women realize that they are not alone in the struggles. You keep being beautiful YOU!

  3. anette
    February 8, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    i just found your blog after listening to a really old half size me podcast… and all i have to say is that I hope you will keep on blogging 🙂

  4. Kim in RI
    February 2, 2017 at 8:20 am

    Definitely stay!!!! I have followed you and your blog for the last 3-4 years and will continue to do so – not because you write what you think we may want to hear, but because you let us in and see the real you! Ups downs and in betweens are all part of reality – those that don’t want to be real can take a hike. Keep it up momma. you are doing great and we are right here with you!

  5. Ashley
    February 2, 2017 at 3:37 am

    When I started reading, it was for your weight loss, now it’s for your journey….:-) Thanks for sharing!

  6. Courtney
    February 1, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    Don’t ever give up girl! You are not a quitter!

  7. February 1, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    Oh please do not stop..I only knew you briefly a lifetime ago and we have the weight battle in common..but more importantly I am a therapist in a mental health clinic and know you are a hero..

  8. Kirsten
    February 1, 2017 at 8:18 pm

    Oh girl. When I get a chance to read blogs I still love reading about people’s lives. Make your blog about you and what you want. Who cares as long as you are happy with what you want to write about. I learned more about different perspectives from blogs than I could have ever learned without them. I learned a lot about myself as well. Keep on writing lady…as long as it makes you happy. If it doesn’t? Then keep posting pics of you and those adorable children. I like seeing them. 🙂

  9. Cathy
    February 1, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    I say I it gives you any satisfaction, a place to vent, a place of joy or wave go for it. If it is added work and distracting to the important stuff, I say let it go. You can Always start again or leave it on a platform unused for awhile…. Right now I think it should be beneficial to you, re. Supporting and improving your life,/ mindset and if it can’t do that, it is good to let go. Good luck

  10. February 1, 2017 at 3:48 pm

    I adore you and your family. Keep it real. I bet you have no idea how many of us are praying for you!

  11. Amy
    February 1, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    Keep going!

  12. February 1, 2017 at 3:26 pm

    KEEP GOING!!!!!!! I love that you are honest, real and down to earth!!!! We (normal moms) need real life, not fiction. I love reading about your sweet family, cheer girls and life in general (good and bad).

  13. February 1, 2017 at 3:18 pm

    I come here because you’re REAL! We all have our highs and lows, and BOTH are inspirational to others. My numbers completely plummeted the past 2 years and I’m keeping my space because I enjoy it, and it is MY space. If you don’t like my content, move on and find something you do like. Your space should be a complete reflection of who you are. All of it. Not something tailored for numbers.

  14. Kelly
    February 1, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    I hear you and understand your frustration. The whole reason I started following you is because you’re a regular person I could identify with….every few months I pull out the Jiggle Free January calendar and do my best to commit…sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t but that inspiration is YOU! I will miss your posts if you throw in the towel but understand either way…For what it’s worth, you still inspire, maybe even more now with Miss Harper. Thank you!!!

  15. Kelly
    February 1, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    Tera,
    I found you via Jordan Knight. I lived in Cranston at the time and went to Fit World briefly. Now I’m in the northern part of RI, juggling career and personal goals and a family, all the while my weight fluctuating. (Right now I’m on the heavy end unfortunately)…
    I still enjoy reading about you! I feel like I know you, and it’s so refreshing to see someone so real; I can relate to you in a lot of ways. Decide what is best for you and your family. Whatever happens, if you’re true to that, everything/everyone else will understand. 🙂

  16. fancynancy14
    February 1, 2017 at 2:17 pm

    I agree with Jill…we all need real moms out there like YOU!!! Letting us know we don’t have to be perfect!!!

  17. Jennifer C
    February 1, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    I still read your posts and that includes the “real life” posts that aren’t fitness/weight related. I will continue to read your blog if it is available. If you choose to let the domain name go, but maintain the GGH FB page, I will follow that too! Wishing you and your beautiful family nothing but the best in whatever direction you head next!

  18. Crystal
    February 1, 2017 at 2:06 pm

    Please don’t walk away! I absolutely love following you and I value your authenticity. I would so much rather read about the challenges you face and victories you may have as opposed to everything being sunshine and roses because that’s real life. I can identify with that because that’s what I’m going through as well. I will pray for you to be encouraged and have wisdom about what you should do but I sure hope I still see you around on Facebook.

  19. Jill Allison
    February 1, 2017 at 1:55 pm

    KEEP GOING!!!! The world needs more honest, real, and raw mama’s like YOU!!!

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